Magic happens at daycare! A friend of mine coined this phrase to explain why our children seem to be completely different people when in the care of someone outside of the home.
Here are some "magical" cases:
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Case 1:
Mini Muffin fights naps to the bitter end at home. A nap can literally take hours to start, regardless of how much physical and/or mental stimulation she's had, time, routine or sleeping environment. It takes forever, and a lot of mental fortitude from her parents so that we can avoid getting frustrated with her and making the situation worse. Left to her own devices she does everything she can to keep herself awake and has never fallen asleep for a nap unattended. With a parent in the room, she also does everything she can to keep herself awake, but can sometimes be lulled to sleep by a persistent parent.
When Mini Muffin started in the "big kid" room at daycare, I naturally asked how she had napped. I was told that she had a good sleep, but was the last kid to fall asleep. I thought "Aha! So it's not just me!", only to have my bubble burst immediately thereafter. Carer: "Yes, she was the very last one to fall asleep, but she did it completely on her own - no back rubbing or anything. She fell asleep at a quarter to one." Me (knowing their schedule): "I'm sorry, pardon? A quarter to one?" "Yes." "As in 12:45?" "Yes (looking at me like I'm simple because I don't know what a quarter to one means). We start settling for nap at 12:30 and she fell asleep on her own at 12:45. Oh, and we make the room conducive to sleep - it's dark and we play nature sounds."
Seriously!?!? Fifteen minutes!?!?! Between naps and bedtime, some days I feel like I do nothing but try to settle her for sleep. Magic happens at daycare.
Case 2:
Mini Muffin is quite particular on her diet. We try not to make too big a deal out of what she will and will not eat, to avoid it turning into more of a power struggle. She actually tastes more things when we pretty much leave her to her own devices. That being said, I'm very familiar with her refusing to eat foods that most kids love (e.g. pasta, scrambled eggs, ketchup or any kind of sauce being among them).
I picked her up one day to hear that she refuses to eat cheese. Yes, I'm well aware. She will eat it melted; but normal, cold, delicious cheese? No way. Oh, but she ate her crackers (a steadfast favourite of hers at home), ham and pickles, she just left the cheese. What!?!?! She ate ham? And pickles? Huh? Then I was told that they make their snacks fun - cubes of ham, triangles of cheese, round pickles and rectangular crackers. Hmmm.... I suppose I could try to make snacks more fun.
I replicated the snack at home a few weeks later. Mini Muffin ate the crackers, and built houses and towers out of the rest. Not a crumb passed her lips, even when asked. So much for fun. Magic happens at daycare.
Case 3:
My friend's toddler went through a stage of throwing her plate on the floor when she didn't want any more, didn't like the offerings, or sometimes just for fun.
One day at pick up, she was told that her daughter had thrown her plate on the floor. The carer explained that she'd asked her to pick up the food and carry her plate over to the garbage to throw out her wasted food, and then return to the table to wait for the others to finish - which is exactly what this little toddler did.
And, for the record, she never again threw her plate on the floor.... at daycare anyway. Magic happens at daycare.
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I'm still not sure how I feel about this phenomenon. I'm happy that my little person is well behaved when I'm not around, and that she seems to be stepping outside her comfort zone. She also seems to push boundaries much harder at home. I'd like to think that it's because home is a safe place for her to grow and learn and that she knows we'll love her unconditionally, and not because she sees me as a push over. For the record, I don't think she sees me as a push over; I think she just has a need to continually confirm that the boundaries haven't shifted, and by extension that I haven't suddenly morphed into a push over.
In conclusion, magic does indeed seem to happen at daycare. And, it sure would be nice if once in a while Mini Muffin would share some of that daycare napping magic with me.