Nap Time Power Struggles - Progress!!

As I mentioned in my "magic happens at daycare" post, nap time with Mini Muffin has been both a trial and a tribulation.  We ensure that she gets lots of physical activity, a good diet and lots of mental stimulation.  Yet, nap time has been tough.  I've had quite a few lucky days, where after driving the long way home she's fallen asleep in the car and could be transferred to her bed for a blissfully long nap.  But, on the days that didn't happen, it's been hours of frustration.

No two children are the same, and certainly what works sleep wise for one, may not work for another.  But, I thought I'd share a progress update on the napping front.  And, perhaps my discovery for Mini Muffin could also help with some other wilful toddler out there.

About two weeks ago, I'd officially had enough.  Enough frustration.  Enough yelling, screaming and crying (on both our parts).  And definitely enough of spending in excess of two hours out of my day trying to get my angel to give in to the nap that she so desperately needs.  It's classic toddler syndrome - tired and in definite need of a nap to recharge, but not wanting to miss a thing.  In addition, it became clear to me that she and I were locked in a power struggle.  As Mini Muffin asserts more independence, sometimes she just needs to rebel against her mama... even if she's very tired and in need of a rest and Mama is offering that rest.  The more I pushed for a nap, the harder she pushed against it and me.  The harder she pushed against me, the more wound up (and less likely to fall asleep) she got, which resulted in me pushing even harder for a nap, and on and on the cycle went. 

One Monday, henceforth referred to as Miraculous Monday, I decided not to push nap time.  We finished up lunch, and then headed upstairs as usual.  Potty break, curtains left partially open, special story (a long French animal book she loves but that Daddy won't read at bedtime), Gro clock, and then the chaos broke out (on her part).  I kept it together, and told her that she didn't need to nap, but she did need to stay in her room.  She could read, play, whatever she wanted, but it had to be quiet and it had to be in her room.  Then I left.  We had a couple of hours of mayhem, mostly involving her leaving her room, and me sending her back in.  Eventually she figured out that I really wasn't making her nap, had some quiet time with books and then... knocked at her door.  I answered it.  She crawled into bed, pulled up her covers and asked for a back rub.  Two minutes later she was asleep.

The next day she played for another two hours, but with no complaints or issues with staying in her room.  I kept an eye on her via the monitor.  Again, she knocked on the door when she was ready.  Zero frustration on my part!  Since then, the time she takes to settle varies from ten minutes to two hours.  Lately it's been more in the ten minute range.  Literally, the last three days she has finished her lunch, told me it's time for her nap and headed on upstairs.  Potty, curtains partially open, special story, Gro clock, and a back rub.  I've been back downstairs in ten minutes.  Flat. 

Who knew that not pushing a nap would result in an easier nap?  It's so counter intuitive to me!  My theory is that she feels in control of when she naps, and since it's her decision she's calmer and therefore able to fall asleep.  Or something to that effect.

A bit more about our new technique -

• Our routine stays the same up until the Gro clock is set.  From there, it varies based on her mood and readiness for sleep.
• At the first sign of fighting sleep, I remind her of the ground rules and leave. 
• If she takes a long time to settle, we do have a wake up time (to ensure night time sleep is possible). 
• If she didn't end up napping, bedtime would move up a bit. 
• There's no pressure to nap, but I do keep on eye on her via the baby monitor so I'm ready to respond when she's ready for her back rub (and therefore sleep).

It's nowhere near an exact science, but rather an art we're figuring out as we go along.  My vision is that it may also transition well to quiet time when she no longer needs a nap.  We're also considering trying it out at bedtime.  I've heard of crazy people who don't make their kids go to bed, but instead just have a set time after which they have to stay in their room.  It seems so strange to me, but perhaps it's a technique that works with Mini Muffin's personality.  Time will tell!

I'm sure it won't work forever, but it's working now, and I am so grateful to have a truce in the nap time power struggles.